Typing this entry on my new toy, not used to the typing though.
So far, I've been kickstarting some new plants in the urban gardening project. Got about 10 plants to date: fruits (mandarin oranges, lime, strawberries!, and barbados cherry) , herbs ( mint, sweet basil), vegetables (ginger, red amaranth, spinach and pak choi). Hoping to add garlic, onions, chives and maybe some dill and coriander? Anyhow, we shall see how things goes.
Workwise I made a major mistake and due to lack of follow up and just waiting for the verdict. Honestly things are getting too messy and overwhelming to handle. Crazy month it been! :( hopefully tomorrow things would have sorted out. writing this here to remind myself in future, though it difficult to micromanage with too many things going at once.
Till then!
Friday, May 24, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
realization...
I thought I might just write my thoughts out here as besides gardening, I think writing is another form of therapy.
Work has been getting hectic, with new responsibilities, sometimes I do feel annoyed, frustrated especially when things aren't progressing smoothly or my work is hindered by the waiting, and I try to remember to control the things I can, and those I can't to accept and move on. I'm just hoping the next month will go smoothly though I'm not sure what would happen but just need to prepare for it. I can't let over familiarity cloud my performance and attitude.
I came upon another realisation today, sort of the hard truth, perhaps I've been reading things, situations and experiences wrong for a long time, it took me much deliberation and courage to get the message out, but it returned to me void. I always thought I would never be caught in such a dilemma as this and wished I was much younger and carefree and can make choices at my own whim. Howver that eludes me much, knowing my actions and words would have severe consequences.
At the end, I will hold it within my heart.
Work has been getting hectic, with new responsibilities, sometimes I do feel annoyed, frustrated especially when things aren't progressing smoothly or my work is hindered by the waiting, and I try to remember to control the things I can, and those I can't to accept and move on. I'm just hoping the next month will go smoothly though I'm not sure what would happen but just need to prepare for it. I can't let over familiarity cloud my performance and attitude.
I came upon another realisation today, sort of the hard truth, perhaps I've been reading things, situations and experiences wrong for a long time, it took me much deliberation and courage to get the message out, but it returned to me void. I always thought I would never be caught in such a dilemma as this and wished I was much younger and carefree and can make choices at my own whim. Howver that eludes me much, knowing my actions and words would have severe consequences.
At the end, I will hold it within my heart.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
updates
I'm managed to type a blogpost out ever since I stop procrastinating and took out my Toshiba laptop to fix it and now it's all working well and proper like it should be.
A lot of things has happened in the last couple of months, I've changed my job, changed my home and went to a few funerals which kind of change my perspective on life itself.
It's coming close to six months of my new job now and I'm enjoying it, although there are times when I really do have bad days, and I just got to tell myself to keep calm and carry on. I think moving on was perhaps the best career decision I've made so far and I don't look back on the past. I happened to google some news and realised that my name wasn't on it, of course I felt disappointed having done so much for it, but no use looking back on it now even though it might look a little better on my resume. However, what I have now I believe is much better. So I got a few projects at hand, and two more coming my way really soon in the next month, I can only be more efficient at my job, not forgetting there's an important matter that I need to prepare for and is rather nerve wrecking since it's a first in my career life so far. I'm just hoping to do great on it.
Other than that, I've found time to do gardening and baking of japanese pastries which I really like, it helps to take the mind of the stress at work, and am trying to strike a work-life balance here.
So a chat with a good friend that ''only in dreams, can man be truly free''. I reflected on it and agree with it totally that there are no boundaries in dreams, or even being kept to social norms or people expectations; the only thing is when you wake up, it's over and well it stays as a good memory and I intend to keep it that way.
A lot of things has happened in the last couple of months, I've changed my job, changed my home and went to a few funerals which kind of change my perspective on life itself.
It's coming close to six months of my new job now and I'm enjoying it, although there are times when I really do have bad days, and I just got to tell myself to keep calm and carry on. I think moving on was perhaps the best career decision I've made so far and I don't look back on the past. I happened to google some news and realised that my name wasn't on it, of course I felt disappointed having done so much for it, but no use looking back on it now even though it might look a little better on my resume. However, what I have now I believe is much better. So I got a few projects at hand, and two more coming my way really soon in the next month, I can only be more efficient at my job, not forgetting there's an important matter that I need to prepare for and is rather nerve wrecking since it's a first in my career life so far. I'm just hoping to do great on it.
Other than that, I've found time to do gardening and baking of japanese pastries which I really like, it helps to take the mind of the stress at work, and am trying to strike a work-life balance here.
So a chat with a good friend that ''only in dreams, can man be truly free''. I reflected on it and agree with it totally that there are no boundaries in dreams, or even being kept to social norms or people expectations; the only thing is when you wake up, it's over and well it stays as a good memory and I intend to keep it that way.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
new beginning...
It has been a pretty intensive two months of study, exams and job interviews but I'm glad at the end of this journey, it's all settled. I'm glad for the family, bf and friends that stood by me, times of uncertainty, helplessness, lost, indecisiveness, giving up and all that. In the end, it's probably all worth it for what it's worth.
The last two weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster, with what's happening and all that, plus the sad news which I got today that forced me to face the harsh reality of the fragility of life, that having done all yet we could not preserve, but I'm glad she made the decision before the chapter closed. I feel sad for what the affected families has to go through with a pending case end of this month.
I guess all these probably will make me be a more empathetic and self-awared person. On one hand, I feel rather, or extremely disappointed with certain people. I believe friendship or kinship should be a 2-way street, but somehow, if you can't make good on your promises time and time again and not being there, I'm really getting weary keeping this up.
Anyhow, I've got a few weeks break before it starts, am excited about it. Meanwhile, I got a long to-do list to fulfill.
The last two weeks has been an emotional rollercoaster, with what's happening and all that, plus the sad news which I got today that forced me to face the harsh reality of the fragility of life, that having done all yet we could not preserve, but I'm glad she made the decision before the chapter closed. I feel sad for what the affected families has to go through with a pending case end of this month.
I guess all these probably will make me be a more empathetic and self-awared person. On one hand, I feel rather, or extremely disappointed with certain people. I believe friendship or kinship should be a 2-way street, but somehow, if you can't make good on your promises time and time again and not being there, I'm really getting weary keeping this up.
Anyhow, I've got a few weeks break before it starts, am excited about it. Meanwhile, I got a long to-do list to fulfill.
Saturday, May 05, 2012
transitioning
The last day of work was spent rushing around to settle all the outstanding items, meeting up with colleagues, playing Santa distributing chocolates, taking photos and well a little emotional for me towards the end. Met up with J and the bf and we went to Rochester to have dinner, food at nosh was pretty good to say, might go back there a second time. Took the train down to my usual Lan shop and played left4dead 2 for 3 hours non-stop at advanced and normal level which was absolutely crazy but very enjoyable.
Anyhow, got to learn that my granduncle has terminal cancer, stage 4, but responding well to chemotherapy. Despite it, he didn't tell us during the chinese new year holidays and still remain cheerful and upbeat, I guess he didn't want people worrying. I felt ashamed that compared to my life, how a person with terminal cancer could be more optimistic than I. I think I should learn to be more thankful of the more important things in life. It's times like this when you have to re-adjust your priorities because life is short.
School starts on Monday and well shall have to go back to the student routine.
Anyhow, got to learn that my granduncle has terminal cancer, stage 4, but responding well to chemotherapy. Despite it, he didn't tell us during the chinese new year holidays and still remain cheerful and upbeat, I guess he didn't want people worrying. I felt ashamed that compared to my life, how a person with terminal cancer could be more optimistic than I. I think I should learn to be more thankful of the more important things in life. It's times like this when you have to re-adjust your priorities because life is short.
School starts on Monday and well shall have to go back to the student routine.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
changing of seasons.
It's the last week of work, one that I'm feeling rather apprehensive about, had the farewell lunch last Tuesday with my group of colleagues, having one tomorrow with another group and another on Wednesday with another company. Still got some work to clear though. Not all relaxing when it turns out I'm still having to write and finalize SOPs. I'm feeling happy to move on to learn new things and sad to leave my current job behind. I updated my resume and seems I did try my best to learn as much. Relationships-wise at work seems to have improve with my colleagues. Well, can't really fall asleep with all these thoughts plus the cramps ugh.
On a happier note, I've been watching my favourite taiwanese drama at the moment, perhaps might consider going to taiwan to do my internship. A late night chat and after the last few years, I realised I could be happier without you. I think as things turn out, perhaps the decision was the right one afterall. Although it left me with much disappointments and bitterness, memories can always be replaced with newer ones. Now, it's a different kind of love, one that is different from those I had in the past and perhaps makes me a better me. It's perhaps time to look forward to the future with an open heart and mind.
On a happier note, I've been watching my favourite taiwanese drama at the moment, perhaps might consider going to taiwan to do my internship. A late night chat and after the last few years, I realised I could be happier without you. I think as things turn out, perhaps the decision was the right one afterall. Although it left me with much disappointments and bitterness, memories can always be replaced with newer ones. Now, it's a different kind of love, one that is different from those I had in the past and perhaps makes me a better me. It's perhaps time to look forward to the future with an open heart and mind.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Well, so I passed the interview, got into the course and did all the necessary paperwork for it. Other than that, I've been busy settling all the administration stuff at work, interviewed a couple of candidates and chose the one who will be replacing me in order to ensure a smooth handover.
Now it's kind of a bittersweet feeling that I would probably miss my job and the people knowing I might have been due for promotion next year; yet I know if I stayed and be stagnant, I'm not progressing in the way I should be. Fast forward since my first day of work, I realised I've just been doing, doing and doing just to improve my skillset and neglecting the importance of finding time to read. I have been observing and those that reads alot and applies it moves faster and higher in the career ladder. So perhaps I've worked long enough and now it's time to increase my knowledge and further my studies. The future seems certain and yet uncertain but we shall see what comes at the end of it.
Making this decision seems to have two camps those who were for it and those who were against it, slowly I believed they have come to accept it though not a lot of my colleagues know about it. One more month of work and I'm actually beginning to treasure it, do my best and learn as much as I can. Relationships with colleagues still seem a little strained but it's time to move on.
Back to being a student means less spending and more budgeting and I actually managed to cut my expenses by 50%; of course not shortchanging myself but less of taking cabs, or eating out at restaurants, less shopping for clothes and stuff. I guess with the economy being such, I've learnt to seek out value in the things I spend my money on be it food, groceries or daily necessities. And yes, I'm trying to reduce my carbon footprint at the same time. All in, I think I'm coping well with such changes but I'm sure it all works out well.
Now it's kind of a bittersweet feeling that I would probably miss my job and the people knowing I might have been due for promotion next year; yet I know if I stayed and be stagnant, I'm not progressing in the way I should be. Fast forward since my first day of work, I realised I've just been doing, doing and doing just to improve my skillset and neglecting the importance of finding time to read. I have been observing and those that reads alot and applies it moves faster and higher in the career ladder. So perhaps I've worked long enough and now it's time to increase my knowledge and further my studies. The future seems certain and yet uncertain but we shall see what comes at the end of it.
Making this decision seems to have two camps those who were for it and those who were against it, slowly I believed they have come to accept it though not a lot of my colleagues know about it. One more month of work and I'm actually beginning to treasure it, do my best and learn as much as I can. Relationships with colleagues still seem a little strained but it's time to move on.
Back to being a student means less spending and more budgeting and I actually managed to cut my expenses by 50%; of course not shortchanging myself but less of taking cabs, or eating out at restaurants, less shopping for clothes and stuff. I guess with the economy being such, I've learnt to seek out value in the things I spend my money on be it food, groceries or daily necessities. And yes, I'm trying to reduce my carbon footprint at the same time. All in, I think I'm coping well with such changes but I'm sure it all works out well.
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