realization...

I thought I might just write my thoughts out here as besides gardening, I think writing is another form of therapy.

Work has been getting hectic, with new responsibilities, sometimes I do feel annoyed, frustrated especially when things aren't progressing smoothly or my work is hindered by the waiting, and I try to remember to control the things I can, and those I can't to accept and move on. I'm just hoping the next month will go smoothly though I'm not sure what would happen but just need to prepare for it. I can't let over familiarity cloud my performance and attitude.

I came upon another realisation today, sort of the hard truth, perhaps I've been reading things, situations and experiences wrong for a long time, it took me much deliberation and courage to get the message out, but it returned to me void. I always thought I would never be caught in such a dilemma as this and wished I was much younger and carefree and can make choices at my own whim. Howver that eludes me much, knowing my actions and words would have severe consequences.

At the end, I will hold it within my heart.